These days, you gotta keep your head down. There s so much surveillance what with undercover spotters and CCTV that kicking off inside the ground s a waste of time. That s why we have to be a bit clever, like, when looking for it. The way it was the other week we went in their main stand on the lookout for their boys. They reckoned they d be forty-handed. We sent the spotters in and all they could see was this bloke from a ZZ Top tribute band and a long-haired Daniel Craig lookalike. Anyway, we thought better keep our heads down and see what was happening. I got this skinny bird to sit next to and some lad from our youth firm came up by me. I ve seen him before and he looks like he s going to be the part when he s a bit bigger. He was just standing there trying to let on to me when I clocked this lad from their juniors moving in. Sweet as, our boy was up on his toes and right in. No pavement dancing, no messing, just bang and the yokel was on the deck. After that we thought it might come on top with OB but they wasn t around so we sat down and looked like we was just interested in the match. The fella with the beard turned round a couple of times and when I asked him what he thought he was looking at he was all no offence like, you remind me of someone. He was a right muppet but in fairness to him I get told that a lot. It must be all those hooligan books and the TV documentaries that do it. I ve been asked to go on them and I always said no because I don t want the attention but it seems everywhere we go now there s still always somebody with a camera or wanting a selfie. Gives you the right hump it does. My brother reckons we should charge for every time somebody wants a photo with us, but he always was a flash monkey. Anyway, once that kid took a slap all the others vanished and for the rest of the match we could do what we wanted. Nobody said a word when the goals went in and at half time we went under the stand. We thought it might get a bit moody under there but we walked all over, bold as you like. We even went in the boardroom and that Delia off the telly was in there with that posh bloke who does the quiz programmes. I could see they was worried but a couple of the lads who came in with me had a word and they were all over us. Then in the second half nobody came near. It happens all the time; we turn up and the other mob want to know. Even the OB let us go where we like. That little lad though, I can see him taking over from me one day.
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